As 2020 drags on, Mads and I find ourselves rapidly approaching her 5th Birthday!! An important birthday for all children, but it would seem not awaited as anxiously by any other. For many it marks the start of kindergarten and is the first real important milestone they remember. For Maddie it seems to be the age when everything will come together.

“Daddy, when I am 5 I won’t need any help to make my lunch.” She tells me.

With the conviction of a much older person she says “When I’m 5, I won’t be scared of the dark”

“Dad, when I’m 5 can I drive the car?” She asks, certain I won’t say no. 

All lofty goals for a 5 year old to achieve.

As I ponder the last five years I’ve had with Madison I am reminded of loads of particularly amazing moments. First steps, hearing her say “I love you” for the first time, and countless trips to fun places. I also find myself reflecting on how much she has grown, not just physically but emotionally and personally as well. I am in awe of the wonderful person I see Madison growing into. 

It also gives me pause to see how much I have changed over that time as well. From an inpatient young man into a slightly more patient father. I’ve learned a multitude of things not just about parenting but also about myself. But, what have I really accomplished? Can I be doing more? 

All of that has got me thinking, what goals so I have for when I “turn 5”? How do I continue to grow as a dad along with her? So, I’ve decided to set “5 Dad Goals” for Mads’ 5th year. 

Write a Letter to 5 year Old Me-

I want to speak to him how I speak to my daughter. Explain some of the things he will encounter in his life in a way that a child will understand. I think that this will be a good exercise in developing my skills for communicating with Madison. 

Write a Letter to 10 Year Old Madison-

Much like the letter to myself, I want to expand my skills and ability to communicate with my daughter. I want to be able to explain things that are happening in our lives that are difficult for her to understand at this point in time. It will also be an opportunity to reminisce about all of the great and fun things we’ve done together. 

Complete a DIY Project with Maddie-

This one is simple, I want to create a memory with Madison and build something that will last as a “monument” to that experience. As a kid, I watched and helped my father on countless projects. I learned a lot of important skills in that manner and hopefully Madison will too.

Find a New Experience with Madison-

Looking back at my childhood I cannot recall if my parents and I did anything for the first time together. I want Madison to have fun lasting experiences and if I’m being honest, I want a few as well.

Teach Madison to Communicate Her Emotions in a Healthy Way- 

This will perhaps be the most difficult task of all. If I’m being honest, this should and will expand beyond the next few years. As our children grow we tend to focus primarily on physical benchmarks and educational milestones. We tend to let emotional growth “work itself out” without really helping them to develop any of those skills. Of course, we provide the foundation through our actions and words. But, I want Madison’s foundation to be strong and solid by helping her to learn (and remind myself) gratitude and mindfulness.

What are some of your “Dad goals”?