From the time our children become toddlers to the time they leave the nest we watch them learn and grow almost daily. We see them make discoveries and realizations about the world around them. Sometimes those discoveries are small like “this spring door stop makes a silly noise” to more important lessons such as “lightbulbs are hot.” Errmmm, I’m ashamed to admit that last one took me a little while to figure out on my own…

With that we also encounter barriers, many times those barriers are falsely perceived, “I can’t” or “I don’t know how” are some of the most devastating phrases in a child’s vernacular. As awful as that is and as difficult as it can be to overcome, our kids occasionally recognize limits as well. Something that they choose not to do because it makes them uncomfortable or because they know they shouldn’t whether it be due to their moral compass or sound logic and reasoning. 

Earlier this week Madison asked me to put on a TV show her younger cousin enjoys, What’s new Scooby-Doo? “He has that truck!! I wanna watch it!!” As a lifelong Scooby fan, I was more than willing to watch it with her. A few minutes into the episode, right as we catch our first glimpse at the fiend that Scooby and the gang are up against I noticed a bit of uncertainty in Madison’s posture. What started as happy confidence became cautious apprehension. Without asking, Madison turned to me and said “I don’t think we should watch this, it’s too scary. I don’t wanna have nightmares.” 

I smiled at Madison who had a look of worry on her face. I turned off the program but I could tell she was searching my face for something but I wasn’t sure what. In my kindest dad voice I said “Madison, I’m very proud of you for knowing what you don’t like.” I assured her that it was perfectly fine for her to be frightened by the show and to want to turn it off. I then reminded her that she was a brave and smart young girl and to always remember to speak up when she felt like she did just then. 

In a moment I watched uncertainty turn to pride as we turned the channel to something a bit more enjoyable. At the time I was just looking to make her feel better but may have accidentally changed her world. I taught her that it’s ok to be uncertain and it’s better to speak up when she is. We talked about it a bit more at bedtime, it seems like it’s a lesson that may stick.