A few weeks ago I had to take Madison to the doctor. Upon arriving, we were taken into the exam room by a wonderfully friendly nurse named Matt. Matt explained that due to the nature of illness Madison would need to give a urine sample. After hearing this, I could tell Madison felt slightly uncomfortable as Matt continued to explain the process. 

As a parent, I have always encouraged Madison to express her feelings and to speak up for herself when she felt it necessary. As Matt finished explaining the procedure Madison spoke up, “Excuse me, I don’t think I will feel very comfortable if you went to the bathroom with me.” Madison said as she nodded her head and moved her hands to extenuat her point.  

Matt smiled and simply said “That’s perfectly alright. I don’t have to watch you give the sample, so I’ll be waiting outside.” A look of surprise on his face. 

Later Matt told me he had never met a child so empowered as to protect her own modesty. He continued that children usually ask their parents to say something or simply don’t speak up at all. 

At that moment I felt very proud of Madison for knowing that situation would make her feel uncomfortable and for knowing it was alright to express it. In today’s society you often worry about whether or not your kids can keep themselves from harm. Using words is a big part of that, as is having a clear sense of “Okay and Not Okay”. 

You can give your children the tools to do the same by encouraging them to express their feelings too. Make only hateful words forbidden and talk with you children about  their feelings frequently. Let them tell you how certain things make them feel and thank them for telling you. You should also encourage them to interact with adults in a positive way such as ordering for themselves in restaurants or having conversations with famil friends. 

Most importantly, make sure that your child understands that he or she should never do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe and that you will always be willing to help.

What are some ways that you’ve empowered  your children to speak up for themselves?