In August 2020, I wrote an article about the overall perception of a father’s role in modern society. The long and short of it was that many people still assume the only way a father contributes to raising a child is as a disciplinarian or financial breadwinner. 

While that may have been the case throughout the 60s and 70s, the modern dad is accountable for much more. In the last few decades, we have seen a paradigm shift in which both male and female parents take an equal role in raising their children. Especially when you consider the cost of living and the likelihood that both parents may need to work to provide a comfortable lifestyle for their children, this means that Dear ol’ Dad is responsible for at least half of the parenting. We also must consider co-parenting and situations where a father may be a child’s primary caretaker. 

Being a good dad means something different to everyone, but in my opinion, being a good dad boils down to providing three simple things—love, encouragement, and time.

Love, Encouragement, and Time

Love

What seems like the easiest may be one of the most difficult. While we all love our children, they may not always recognize it. Love goes just beyond saying it at bedtime. As a dad, you should demonstrate your love not only through action but also with words. We must find unique ways to show our children that we care. One of my favorite ways to show Mads I love her is with lunchbox notes. I take the time to write a special message for her to read at lunch every day she’s with me. Sometimes I add stickers or draw her favorite characters from movies and shows. Small things like this show your kids that you care even apart.

Encouragement

Encouraging your kids is more important than any of us know. If you think back to when you were a kid, chances are your parents encouraged you in ways you didn’t realize. Whether it was pushing you to pursue a sport, art, or desire, your parents were there to inspire you. In modern parenting, encouragement goes beyond the above; it means validating your child’s positive or negative feelings. It means showing them that failure is okay and that feeling those emotions is healthy and normal. It also means giving them opportunities to succeed at new things you may be frightened by too.

Time

Every year it feels like we have less and less time. With the ever-growing financial demands that we face due to inflation and the ongoing pandemic, we are tempted and sometimes forced to work more hours to keep our families afloat. However, our time is precious, which often means essential things don’t get done. That pile of clean laundry may have to go unfolded an extra day, or that Honey-do list may have to go unfinished for another few weekends. What can’t wait are the precious hearts we hold so dear. Spending time with your children is one of the most important aspects of parenting. Anytime can be bonding time, from driving to school or reading books at night. However, I think the best time spent with your children is time spent outdoors. Out in nature, you can teach your children important lessons about life and skills for future success. I recall hiking and fishing with my father and older brother when I was a boy; that was some of the most precious time we all spent together, and I long to share that with my child.

A Final Thought

Some may argue that there are far more beneficial ways to contribute to your children. However, I believe these are the most essential as they serve to empower your children in ways that only you can.

What are some ways you contribute to your child’s emotional wellbeing?